Chopping Mall

[1.5 stars] [IMDB Link]

[Amazon Link]
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Yes, this is the second movie I've watched so far in 2023. Consider it research. I ran across this essay by Marc Andreessen, where he argues against (what he sees as) the panic that AI will one day kill us all. (Aieee!)

[A gloom-and-doom counterpoint to Andreessen's essay is also available from Gideon Lichfield at WIRED: Marc Andreessen Is (Mostly) Wrong This Time. Pun Salad reports, you decide. On whether to be hysterical or sane.]

From Andreessen's essay:

First, a short description of what AI is: The application of mathematics and software code to teach computers how to understand, synthesize, and generate knowledge in ways similar to how people do it. AI is a computer program like any other – it runs, takes input, processes, and generates output. AI’s output is useful across a wide range of fields, ranging from coding to medicine to law to the creative arts. It is owned by people and controlled by people, like any other technology.

A shorter description of what AI isn’t: Killer software and robots that will spring to life and decide to murder the human race or otherwise ruin everything, like you see in the movies.

Well, that last bit sounded interesting. So I clicked over to read all about The Best Killer Robot Horror Movies, Ranked. And this was in first place! I will just snip their entire description:

Chopping Mall is a low-budget Julie Corman-produced sleazefest that tells the thrilling tale of what happens when eight unsuspecting teenagers get trapped in a security-bot-protected mall after hours. Its simple premise sets the stage for a plethora of creative kills, including an extremely memorable laser-induced head explosion. Chopping Mall is not only one of the best killer robot horror movies ever made, but it’s also one of the funniest horror comedies of all time. Director Jim Wynorski imbues the film with just the right amount of wry wit to compliment the scares, which keeps the pace brisk. In a fashion similar to George A. Romero's iconic zombie flick Dawn of the Dead,

Chopping Mall uses its mall setting and sense of humor to comment on consumerism, making the film feel fresh even today. Additionally, the film boasts one of scream queen legend Barbara Crampton’s all-time best performances, as well as cameos by cult legends Dick Miller, Mary Woronov, and Paul Bartel.

My review: it's watchable, barely. Also eminently predictable. (Who will survive? Not those kids having sex in the mall, for certain.)

Last Modified 2024-01-13 5:02 AM EST