Pun Salad

… your hair and your clothes, everything is just right:

• Back in April, Vice-President Biden visited the University Near Here to announce the Bold New Steps the Federal Government was taking to ensure women would be safe and secure in the nation's institutions of higher education, and the Education Department's "Office for Civil Rights" (OCR) would be leading the charge. Now, people are finally getting around to noticing what that implies. For example, Michael Barone:

  What the seemingly misnamed Office of Civil Rights is doing here is demanding the setting up of kangaroo courts and the dispensing of what I would call marsupial justice against students who are disfavored by campus denizens because of their gender or race or political attitude. "Alice in Wonderland's" Red Queen would approve.

• Mark Steyn suggests Kundera's committee of the "District Party Secretariat" would also provide a thumbs-up.

• Also commenting on things is Robert Stacy "Other" McCain, who provides the backstory for the OCR's insistence that schools prosecute these matters using a "preponderance of evidence" rule:

  This Department of Education letter -- a seeming threat to deploy Federal Flirting Police -- was, in fact, a belated reaction to last October's incident at Yale University, where fraternity pledges undergoing initiation were made to chant rude things about rape. The offensive fraternity (of which both President Bushes are alumni) was suspended for five years, but not before the feds announced an investigation of Yale. And part of the government's response was to issue this 19-page letter (sent to all universities) imposing the "preponderance of evidence" rule.

• John Steele Gordon takes special notice of campus guidelines that consider "humor and jokes about sex in general that make someone feel uncomfortable" or "elevator eyes" to be verboten.

  In other words, if everyone laughs, it's a joke. If one person does not, it's a crime. It's a good thing that standard isn't countrywide or the jails would be full of standup comedians. I confess to having no idea what "elevator eyes" might be, but at my age I'd undoubtedly be flattered by them.

  At my age, I'd forgotten what elevator eyes are, but eventually got around to remembering that old Temptations song, linked above.

• Given recent headlines, it would seem that Your Federal Government might want to clean up its own act before micromanaging colleges' judicial procedures. But a student would do well to memorize Congressman Hastings' response to a questioner:

  "It would be impossible for me in a paragraph or a page or two or a tome or volumes one and two to help you understand the dynamics of these events. I'll leave it at that."

• And it's not just college students and Congresscritters that have problems with the whole concept, but also DOD employees:

Yes, this is yet another based-on-true-story movie. In my defense, I wasn't aware of that before I saw it. Netflix just assured me (correctly) that I'd like it, and I didn't look too closely. And the semi-apocalyptic cover art seemed interesting. (Disclosing just how this is a true story would slightly spoil the plot, however.)

It's set in 1930s China. Ip Man is a master of the Wing Chun school of kung fu, but has (apparently) retired from whatever it was Wing Chun masters did back then. His character is impeccable. His house is huge and impeccably furnished; he has a beautiful loving wife and a cute son. His activities are limited to taking on challenges from occasional wannabes: the master of a local kung fu studio, or the leader of a gang of thugs; they are handled with humor and honor. Life is good.

But then the Japanese invade China, and life gets very very bad for Ip Man, his family, and all the other Chinese. He's thrown out of his house, and forced to work in the lung-clogging coal mines. But as it turns out, the Japanese general running the show has a martial arts fetish as well, and becomes obsessed with setting up fights between his guys and the Chinese. Which sets up an inevitable conflict.

The filmmakers had a big budget, and spent it well; attention was lavished on the sets, and many of the scenes are absolutely bee-you-ti-ful. Sammo Hung, fondly remembered from the old Martial Law TV show, is credited with directing the amazing fight scenes.